The Batman Review
What if Bruce Wayne was a whiny emo teenager who treats the only person who cares for him like crap? What if he were fairly intelligent but utterly outshone by Alfred, outsourcing all major sleuthing to his butler? What if Batman was little more than an extension of him with no real differentiation between the man and the vigilante? What if all this was told with poor writing, bad pacing, and zero chemistry between main characters?
There were good elements to this film, even if I'm struggling to remember them. Colin Farrell’s Penguin was a delight, walking the fine line between over-the-top yet still believably intimidating, the actor completely disappearing into the character in part thanks to amazing prosthetics and make-up. Paul Dano as the Riddler was very good, bringing an unsettling serial killer vibe that grounded his performance in realism. And that’s about it for great acting. Jeffrey Wright as Gordon was meh, not bad but not particularly interesting either. Zoë Kravitz was eminently forgettable, no real exploration into her motivations and no character depth. Robert Pattinson was competent but, unfortunately, not given much to work with both in terms of text and direction, leading to a lot of empty staring that I’m sure was meant to be bursting with meaning but instead came across as a 15 year-old looking daggers at his parents and the world around him. The chemistry between the two main characters in particular was atrocious, it felt very much like “right, we have to have a love interest so let’s get them to kiss without bothering to build any kind of connection first”.
As a whole, the film felt about 20 years too late. Why are we still making male dominated films when the story doesn’t call for it? Yes, most of the main players are indeed men and I’m not suggesting they be gender flipped just to rack up awareness points. But none of the police officers could be women?! And pretty sure it fails the Bechdel test too. This is particularly frustrating given that the movie has quite an insightful scene where Bruce Wayne (and the audience) actually get to experience life as a woman, with all the leering, discomfort and fear that can come with it. What a shame that excellent moment didn’t influence the overarching choices.
While the cinematography was gorgeous, it was unrelentingly dark, never giving us any contrast to help drive home the point that Gotham is a cesspool. Surely Wayne Manor (penthouse, I should say, which was a…questionable choice) would have been an opportunity to create a visual divide between the haves and the have-nots, for example?
[SPOILERS INCOMING!]
Speaking of Wayne, I was completely put off by the choice to give Bruce’s parents a questionable past. Why? What was achieved by that? If the aim was to create an internal struggle, then the memo didn’t reach the scriptwriters nor the director. We didn’t have any real insight into Bruce’s motivations to begin with so how could this feel like a spanner being thrown in the works?
[DONE WITH THE SPOILERS NOW, YOU CAN COME BACK!]
Add to this some truly terrible music (dear Michael Giacchino, using someone else’s Ave Maria slowed down for half the movie then using a 2-note “theme” that is devoid of rhythmic or harmonic interest for the other half does not a stellar soundtrack make. Shame on you!), and I found myself rolling my eyes for three long, unending hours.
All in all, not a movie I enjoyed and one I suspect is accruing praise mainly due to the overwhelming relief of not having to see another iteration of Ben Affleck as Batman!
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